The Hand Life Dealt Me Never Broke Me
My life had dealt me a terrible hand forcing me to make a major decision
The saying is that blood is thicker than water, but what happens when that blood is thick, sludgy, and toxic?
Every family has different dynamics. Every family snickers, bonds, loves, and holds resentments, even when we don’t want to believe it. And unfortunately, what makes up each family bleeds into the fabric of who we are, the good and the bad.
This can go one of many ways in regards to how we choose to move forward and who we become as people.
If you come from toxic family life, feeling the weight of everything weighing upon your soul can lead to facing major decisions and changes.
Every person faces a major decision in their life.
A decision that they know is going to set the events that follow in an impactful way. This decision could be a huge change to your lifestyle or a small change to your routine. No matter the type, it has a ripple effect that can be felt for such a long time.
My major life decision, better yet known as the fork in the road for me, came when I was 18 years old.
For my entire life, I’d grown up in a very dysfunctional family.
A family filled with toxic family relationships and alcoholism. A family where you took two steps forward and ten steps backward. But worse yet, a family that wasn’t able to route for others when they were trying to succeed.
At the age of 18, I was on the cusp of the next stage of my life — college.
I’d managed to score my very first job at a grocery store…but no one would drive me. So I walked 13 miles to work some days until I saved enough money to buy a truck that barely worked. A truck that rattled at highway speeds as I drove to school, and broke down on me more than it ran.
To afford rent in my family's house and college books, I took on a second job at a catering company for weddings and business events.
However, no matter how hard I worked, the success and path I was slowly building for myself created a larger divide than I’d intended between my estranged family and me. Such a large divide that some nights I ended up sleeping in my truck, uninvited to a place I paid rent to live in.
After two straight nights of sneaking into my own home for changes of clothing and sleeping in my truck, I decided that it was time for a change.
My fork in the road had shown itself.
I could either keep working hard to pay rent to a place I couldn’t sleep in, or I could work towards a better life for myself. So, I managed to find a studio apartment a friend's family was renting over their garage for a flat rate of $300. I packed up my things and I took the next step.
It may have been an exhausting journey, but it taught me so much.
Working two jobs and being enrolled in college full-time taught me the value of hard work. I learned to depend on myself and the value of something earned. And better yet, I learned through all of this how to form a better family for myself in the future.
A family that routed for one another no matter what — and who stood by your side and supported one another.
We cannot always control what happens to us but we can control how we handle them and how we move forward.
Finding myself in a terrible situation, I made it my goal to unstick myself and move upward and onward.
No matter the hand life has dealt you, it is possible to make something out of nothing.